


Making Amends with a Memory

by 1think1haveaproblem



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Slow Build, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:34:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22394842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1think1haveaproblem/pseuds/1think1haveaproblem
Summary: A sleeping child with her sister’s eyes left in her care forces Petunia to make a choice, hold on to her bitterness and resentment for her sister, or work to make things right with someone who no longer was around to be able to forgive her. As challenging and heartbreaking of a circumstance she was put in, Petunia manages to become a mother to two boys, with some help along the way from another lost and grieving soul.
Relationships: Petunia Evans Dursley & Remus Lupin, Petunia Evans Dursley/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 97





	Making Amends with a Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a one-shot I saw on pinterest, and a few works I found on this site.
> 
> Nothing against Remus’s canon love interest (she’s kickass and I love her), but I love stories about what could have beens.

Petunia rereads the letter that was left on top of the baby at her doorstep ten times before finally she just breaks down and cries. She falls to the floor, right in the middle of her front entry, baby Harry sleeping contently in a basket on the rug in front of her, blissfully unaware of the anguish he’s been through. This boy, this beautiful, innocent, orphaned baby boy, represents everything Petunia wanted so desperately for, but failed so desperately at having, and the fact he was here on her doorstep only further punctuated the truth, like pouring salt in an open wound. Her sister she loved and envied so very much was dead, there were no more chances to ever make things right between them. Petunia had a choice in front of her, to hold onto her resentment, or work to make things right with someone who's no longer around to forgive her, or offer her own apology.

This wasn’t a choice she could put off, not with a green-eyed baby now in her care. Through her tears and her whimpers, Petunia picks up and holds baby Harry close, wishing desperately that she was seeing him for the first time under different circumstances, that she had her sister here instead of a note. Harry sleeps contently through her sobs. She isn’t sure how much time passes, but eventually she runs out of tears and decides it’s far more sensible to put baby Harry to sleep in a crib and lie down in a bed than continue to cling to him for dear life slumped against her entryway hallway wall. Petunia makes her way up the stairs and into the nursery where she lays Harry down next to Dudley, then returns to her own bed, beside her completely oblivious husband. There will be so much she will have to explain to him in the morning. Her stomach churns at the thought of all of it, at the thought of her dead sister, at the thought of raising a magical child, and at the thought that if she doesn’t, he could be killed. Her exhaustion wins over her anxiety, and with wet cheeks, she falls asleep.

Morning comes far too soon, but Petunia is a good wife, so she drags herself out of her bed alongside her husband, grabs her dressing gown, and descends the stairs to make his breakfast and lunch. She’s pouring Vernon a glass of juice when he makes his way into the dining room, tying his tie. His still-damp hair is combed perfectly to the side, reminding her of the perfect little life they project, even though she barely has the strength to remain standing. 

“Darling, there’s a matter I need to discuss with you when you return home from work today,” she informs him as he takes a bite of his eggs.

“What is it? What’s the matter?” he asks between mouthfuls.

“There isn’t the time to get into it now, but there’s been a death in my family.” Petunia steadied herself as she said this, making sure that she wouldn’t break down into tears again. Vernon needs to leave for work soon, they don’t have the time to start this conversation. As far as her husband knows, she didn’t have any close relatives left, her parents had both passed away several years prior. A death in her family shouldn’t affect her this much, she shouldn’t be in deep mourning over such an occurrence. A large hand rests on hers for a moment, pulling Petunia’s mind back to her dining room table, back to her husband.

“I’m sorry to hear that, love. Let me know when the funeral is when you find out.”

Her stomach drops at his reply. She of course, will need to be making the funeral arrangements herself, and the reminder of it nearly sends her over the edge. “Of course,” she replies, rising from the table. “I need to go check on Dudley. Have a good day at work.” Tears well up in her eyes as she turns away. She tries to will them not to fall, but they do anyway. 

Petunia arrives at the nursery to find two calmly sleeping babies, firm evidence that the events of last night were not a nightmare, but her current reality. She reaches for her sweet, beautiful, baby boy and holds him tight. “I love you, and will give you everything I have. I’m doing my best here, Dudley,” she whispers to him. Petunia looks down at the other scared child, and lets out a small sob before turning away. It’s too painful for her to look at Harry right now. Before too long they’ll both be awake, crying, and demanding her attention, leaving her no time for her own weeping, grief or selfishness. She hears the garage door open and her husband’s car pull away, and she just sits in the rocking chair in the nursery, holding tight to her son for comfort, and tries to put off the inevitable chaos that is to come.

Petunia’s day goes about as well as she could expect, given her circumstances. By the time Vernon arrives home, no one is currently crying, so she counts it as something resembling victory. Petunia knows the conversation with her husband isn’t going to go particularly well, but she at least knows what side of it she’s come down on. Harry is her nephew, he’s suffered enough, and she’s not going to add any more suffering to this poor child’s life. As painful of a reminder as he is, Harry is also entirely innocent. Petunia is well aware that she won’t be perfect in raising him, but it’s time she let go of some of her hatred.

She greets her husband with a chaste kiss at his arrival, then returns to the children in the living room. Harry is reaching out for her when she gets within his view, so she reaches down and picks him up. When she turns around she sees her husband, a look of puzzlement plastered on his face. “Whose child is that,” he asks, slightly panicking.

“This is Harry, my sister’s son,” Vernon flinched upon hearing the relation. “She was murdered, along with her husband, two nights ago. He has nowhere else to go,” she calmly tells him.

“You hated your sister, and all the freaks like her! Why on earth would we be taking in her freak offspring?” His voice is booming and harsh. Petunia instinctively wraps her arm around Harry, her hand protectively holding his head.

“If I don’t there’s a very good chance he’ll be killed, Vernon!” she spits back in hushed tones, careful not to spook the two children. “I- We- Lily and I had our differences, and she sure owes me more than an apology, but she’s dead and I’ll never be able to get that now. She was my sister- this is my nephew! What am I bloody well supposed to do?” 

“What the hell were those freaks caught up in?”

“A war, Vernon.”

Her answer catches him off guard. A moment of sputtering passes before he concedes, “Fine! So he lives here! But don’t expect me to raise the boy; he’s not my son.”

Petunia doesn’t know what to say to that, but Vernon has already started to storm away and the supper she was making is going to burn if she doesn’t get back to it. All things considered, that could have gone even worse.

The next day is even more of a train wreck. The chaos starts at 2:30 am with Harry crying, asking for his mum and dad. The noise wakes Dudley, who is none too pleased to be awake and adds some cries of his own to the mix. Petunia manages to get them both back to sleep by four with no tears of her own, but Vernon doesn’t say a single word to her before he leaves for work. Harry woke up again at seven and hasn’t stopped crying since. Petunia tries everything she can but by 1:30 she just has to set the poor child down since she needs to make progress on the funeral arrangements for Lily and James.

She nearly pulls out her hair as she hears the doorbell ring. She picks Harry up on her way to the door and rests him on her hip as she answers it. As bad as it looks to come to the door with a screaming child, it would be worse for said child to be neglected and screaming on her hallway rug.

“Can I help you?” Petunia asks, her tone clipped as she opens the door. 

The man in front of her looks old and weathered, with scars crisscrossing his face, dressed in equally worn clothes. She thinks he must have the wrong address, and she hopes he comes to the same conclusion soon since she really doesn’t have time for this right now. 

“Petunia Evans?” he asks.

“Evans was my maiden name, it’s Dursley now. What is it you want from me?”

“My name is Remus Lupin. It’s my understanding you’re making funeral arrangements for James and Lily, I wanted to make sure my friends have a proper burial.” Petunia flinches at hearing her sister’s name, but ushers the man in regardless. As he passes her, she takes a closer look at him. Remus is much younger than she had originally taken him for, and underneath the scars, he has rather attractive features, though he carries with him a saddens that seems well beyond his years. 

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss,” she manages as he takes off his shoes.

“Thank you,” the man sighs. Harry continues to cry, though now he seems to be reaching out for Remus. “May I?” he asks, gesturing towards Harry. Petunia is hesitant, but she carefully hands the child over to him. It takes but a minute and Harry stops crying. 

“How on earth did you do that? He’s been crying nonstop since seven this morning?” she asks, incredulous.

“I guess he needed a familiar face,” Remus replies somewhat solemnly. 

“Come, sit,” Petunia instructs. “Can I get you anything to drink? Tea perhaps?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Petunia ushers Remus into their dining room what he has a seat at the table next to all of the paperwork for the funeral arrangements. She hears Harry coo something resembling “moony” at the man, and ask “where mama” and “where dada” and her heart breaks. 

“Shhh, Harry, I’m here. It’s going to be okay,” Remus tells the child, though Petunia can tell this is hard for him.

“You’re going to need to leave before my husband returns home. He won’t be pleased that your kind is visiting our family,” she tells him quite gravely.

Remus looks shocked for a moment before a realization seems to hit him and his expression returns to normal. “Wizards, you mean?” Petunia subtly flinches at the word, but nods in affirmation. The kettle whistles behind them and her attention returns to being a decent host.

“How do you take your tea?” she asks.

“However you make it is fine,” came Remus’s reply. 

They spend the better part of the afternoon finalizing the funeral arrangements, and everything seems to be taken care of by the time she needs to start on preparing supper.

“Vernon leaves in the morning at seven and returns home just after five if you wish to come by again, though I recommend you keep it to a minimum. I can’t have neighbors thinking I’m having an affair,” Petunia informs him as he’s departing.

“Petunia,” Remus sighs, “I want to be a part of Harry’s life, and I think you could use the help. Tell your too nosy neighbors that I’m James’s brother, and while I can’t raise Harry myself, I’m doing my best to do right by both James and you. I’ll be back tomorrow to assist you with getting Lily and James’s estate in order. It would probably be beneficial to have access to Harry’s inheritance to help provide for him.”

“I- Thank you, that would be appreciated. You best be going now, but I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

As promised, Remus returns the following day, this time with a briefcase full of paperwork and documents regarding Harry’s inheritance. Petunia’s eyes bulge at seeing the sum of money in Harry’s name and tightly embraced Remus. She was near tears as she tries to explain what a relief it was to know she will be able to provide for the boy when Vernon won’t. 

“We’ll need to plan a trip to Diagon Alley for you to be able to withdraw some money from Harry’s vault, and have it converted to muggle currency,” Remus explains as they finish up with most of the paperwork. “I’ll submit these forms tonight to officially establish your access to the vault as Harry’s legal guardian.”

“Can you come by in the morning tomorrow so we can start to work out the logistics of a trip like that?” Petunia asks. While she does think the added time would be nice for planning, her main goal is to have Remus here for lunch. The poor boy looks like he hasn’t had a proper meal in far too long, she’s afraid he might waste away in front of her if actions aren’t taken soon.

“That’s fine, I’ll be over around nine if that works for you?” Remus asks.

“Perfect, I’ll expect you then.” With that, she leads Remus to her front door and sees him off. As she cleans up the teacups from the dining room table, she can’t help but ponder her brief contact with the wizarding world.  _ How is it that none of these wizards have families to look after them?  _ Petunia asks herself.  _ A war, _ echoes in reply. She brushes away the feeling of chills she gets and picks up the phone to call a few neighbors. After all, with Remus’s intent of becoming a more permanent fixture in her life, she’ll need to schedule tea with a few of the other housewives to explain that there her orphan nephew has now graced her life, and along with him had come the boy’s “uncle”. She only hopes that it won’t get back to Vernon that someone with a connection to James is routinely coming by their house. The thought of the argument that would follow makes her stomach churn.

As it turns out, it is a lot harder for a muggle to plan a trip to a busy wizarding bank than Petunia had anticipated. Just the question of getting there was proving to be a slight challenge.

“You know, there’s also the question of how you should contact me, if you ever have the need to.” Petunia doesn’t quite see why Remus chooses this moment to add this problem to the list of concerns, but sure, why not try and sort that out now too.

“I don’t suppose you have a telephone then,” Petunia sighs.

“Afraid not.”

“And what do wizards typically do?”

“Letters via owl-”

“Out of the question. I simply will not be keeping a pet owl.”

“-Or fire calls,” Remus finishes. “Which could also solve our problem of getting you to Diagon Alley.”

“How so?” Petunia asked.

“If we were to hook up your fireplace to the floo network, and get you some floo powder, you should be able to make calls and travel to other fireplaces in the network.”

“How much of a challenge would all of that be?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem, I’ll need to request permission from the Ministry of Magic, but once we have permission, it would just be a simple spell, and purchasing floo powder of course.”

“And I’d be able to use it?” Petunia questioned.

“Oh yes, it wouldn’t require any further spell casing to operate.”

“And I’d be able to contact you through this?”

“The place I’m currently residing is connected to the floo network, yes.”

“Okay, so that sorts out how we’ll get to Diagon Alley, and how I’ll be able to be in contact with you. What the process like for getting permission, are there any papers you need me to sign?” By the end of Remus’s visit, they have worked out how they were going to get everything set up, all that is left is actually getting permission and physically setting it up. Remus isn’t sure how long that will take, but he figures despite the chaos the Ministry is currently dealing with, they will be able to make time to accommodate the casefile of one Harry Potter. With that reassurance in place, Remus departs agreeing to stop by as soon as he makes progress.

It isn’t until the following Monday that Remus is over at Petunia’s house again. Petunia has gotten less sleep in his absence, with Harry being fussier and simply not ever really getting a break. Following their last meeting, it took a day before he had a meeting set up at the Ministry, and another day for the request to be approved, then it was the weekend, which meant Vernon would be home, and he most certainly could not be at the Dursley’s. So Monday morning comes and Petunia is ushering Remus into her living room where he tells her the good news about the approval and he begins casting the requisite spells on her fireplace. Once complete, Remus floos home to check if it is successful, and his arrival back confirms it is.

Upon stepping out of Petunia’s fireplace, Remus is wrapped in a tight hug. “Thank you so much! This will make everything a lot easier,” she excitedly tells him.

“Glad I could help,” he humbly replies. 

Only then does Petunia get a good look at him to see how exhausted he really is. A pang of worry hits her.

“Have a seat, let me get you some tea,” she announces. “You still haven’t told me how you like it,” she adds as she disappears into the kitchen, Dudley now on her hip. After setting the pot on the stove she returns to the living room, and a smile plays at her lips as she sees Remus reaching for Harry. 

“How you’ve been making it is good,” he tells her upon noticing her return. Harry is now snuggled into Remus’s side, clutching tightly to his sweater.

“No milk or sugar?” Petunia asks.

“No, I like it fine without,” Remus assures her.

“Okay, just checking.” With that Petunia disappears into the kitchen, and a few minutes later comes back with a cup of tea for Remus. Another trip to the kitchen later and she has one for herself. She takes a seat on the other end of the couch, the two small children between them. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks him after a minute.

He looks up at her in confusion. “About what?”

“You look as exhausted as I feel. I’m sure there are plenty of reasons, so do you want to talk about any of them?” Petunia asks, hoping she isn’t overstepping.

Remus let out a shaky breath, his hand not holding the tea going to stroke Harry’s hair. “It’s a lot right now, between the trials, the fall out of the war, the grieving- I’m surprised I haven’t just broken down in front of you yet.”

“It would be okay if you did,” she says with what was almost a sad smile. “I’ll warn you though, if you break down, there’s no way I’m holding it together. But I already cry almost as often as Dudley, so I might as well do it with company.”

Remus’s eyes meet Petunia’s, and they hold so much sadness, so much grief, it ages him far beyond his years. Petunia is sure that some of that sadness is can be found in her own eyes, and she wonders if it makes her look older than she really is, if she looks like someone who wasn’t a recent newly wed, who didn’t just become a new mother not that long ago. She wonders if she still looked like someone who should have parents, a sister, a perfect little life, or if maybe it showed, if the strangers she meets at the grocery store can see the loss she’s suffered plastered all over her, if they can tell that she isn’t able to live the simple perfect life, if they know she’s so close to coming apart at the seems, for everything to fall to pieces.

She’s not sure whose tears fell first, but both Remus and herself are quietly crying. Petunia lowers her drink to the coffee table in front of her, favoring instead to have her hand free to be able to hold Dudely tight with one, and reach out to Remus with the other. Remus’s tea also is set aside, and he reciprocates the gesture, taking Petunia’s hand and hanging on as if it were his anchor. She gives in to her grief; it hits her like a wave, and she struggles to keep her head above water.

When Petunia’s loud sobs fade to silent tears, she can finally feel herself able to breathe more evenly again. She notices Remus’s grip has lightened, and his thumb now lightly strokes the back of her hand. She pulls her hand away to grab a handkerchief out of her pocket and dabs her face dry. With one indignant sniffle, she deems herself composed enough to speak. 

“Thank you for being here Remus, and thank you for all that you’ve done for me and Harry, and Dudley,” adding the latter as a sort of afterthought as she realizes just how much help he’s been with both children when he has been over.

“James and Lily were family to me. That means by extension that you are too.”

Petunia closes her eyes and feels fresh tears falling down her face. She knows that Lily and her were not on the best terms as of late (if the past ten years can be considered “as of late”). She knows that it’s only mutual grief that ties her to Remus. Yet it’s a comforting sort of hurt to hear him say she has family. She feels Remus lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. Petunia wills herself to regain some composure and open her eyes. When she does she spots the clock and realizes that it’s not a good idea to risk her company staying much longer, and she says her goodbyes to Remus, who departs through her fireplace.

Petunia manages to have the house and her composure in order by the time Vernon returns home. He doesn’t seem to notice the new pot that sits atop their mantle, nor does he acknowledge the existence of the raven haired child on her hip. Petunia wonders just how long this arrangement will go on, and her stomach twists at the thought.

Remus won’t be able to stop by for a few days, he tells Petunia as much over a fire call Tuesday morning. Her chest tightens at the news. Petunia knows Remus is going through a lot, and she worries about how the trials are affecting him. He hasn’t told her all that much about them, just that there are a lot of people who committed war crimes, and as someone who had been heavily involved, he has to testify quite a bit. It sounds like there is a particular trial he is apprehensive about, but that trial is still a ways off. Petunia wishes there is more she could do for Remus, and she hopes that she isn’t adding to his stressful burden right now. 

Friday night Petunia walks into the nursery to lay the two boys down to bed and sees a rather large owl calmly sitting at her window. She nearly has a heart attack but manages not to lose her grip on the two children in her arms. Petunia notices a letter on the owl’s leg, and after setting Harry and Dudley down, she takes it and reads it. 

_ Dear Petunia, _

_ I figured it too late in the evening to fire call you, so my apologies for sending an owl. I wanted to ask you if you would be able to make the trip to Diagon Alley Monday morning? I’m sorry for having been terribly busy this week, I know how important it is that you are able to make this trip. If Monday does not work for you, please let me know so we can find a day that does, though the earlier in the week the better, I’m afraid I’ll be indisposed the latter half of it. You can either send a response back with the owl, or floo me when you have the chance. _

_ Regards, _

_ Remus _

Petunia jumps at the earliest possible chance to be able to make the trip to Diagon Alley, and scribbles her response on the other side of Remus’s letter. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” she tells the owl as she secures the paper to its leg and watches it fly away out her window. 

Petunia receives another owl from Remus Saturday morning confirming the time for their plans, and giving her last minute reminders for the trip. When Monday morning comes, he arrives through her floo, and under the anonymity of a few glamor charms, they depart for Diagon Alley hand in hand. Petunia is amazed by the Wizarding World, and fights off feelings of jealousy that try to crop up. As hard as it is to let go of the past she had with her sister, Petunia is still here, and Lily is not. Now certainly is not the time for her emotional baggage. Their outing is successful, Petunia is able to withdraw enough money to cover a few months’ worth of expenses for Harry without drawing any attention to themselves. 

When they arrive back at Little Whinging, Remus lets her know that he won’t be able to stop by the rest of the week. So even though things get hectic with the two children, she suppresses the urge to floo Remus and ask for his help. Wednesday morning comes and Remus still isn’t able to come by. He does, however, floo to let Petunia know that more trials will be keeping him away the next few days, and that he misses Harry, and will try to see them as soon as he is able. 

Petunia carries on the best she can. Friday, though, is particularly rough on Petunia. Harry is being fussy, even more so than usual, he cries most of the day, and now he just wouldn’t go down for bed. Petunia is tired, she put Dudley to sleep more than a few hours ago, but Harry just keeps waking up. When he starts crying again she decides to take him downstairs, she doesn’t want to wake Vernon or Dudley. She hears the small child wailing, asking for his parents, and she just about starts crying herself, knowing full well that the very thing Harry needs is something she would never be able to give him. She does, however, see the floo powder on the mantle and think that she might have a suitable substitute. 

“Will you calm down if I get you Moony?” she asks Harry, still entirely in the dark on how he had ever gotten “Moony” from “Remus”.

“Moo'y?” Harry cries, sounding like a question.

“Yes, Harry, I’ll get you your Uncle Moony,” she decides and grabs a handful of floo powder. Despite the late hour, she is able to reach Remus.

“Is everything alright?” Remus asks, visibly alarmed.

“Harry won’t stop crying for his mum and dad, I just can’t get him to calm down- the last time it was this bad he settled down for you- I just- I don’t know what else to do,” Petunia stammers.

“Okay, okay, just slow down. Take a deep breath. Okay, are you alone in the house right now?” 

Petunia shakes her head. “No, Vernon is asleep though. I wouldn’t be calling if he wasn’t.”

Remus bit his lip and hesitates for a moment. “Okay, I’ll come through.” 

Petunia pulls back and a moment later Remus is stepping out of her fireplace. He wastes no time in scooping Harry up in his arms, who is now crying “Moony” loudly.

Remus shushes the child and holds him close. “It’s okay, Harry. It’s okay, Uncle Moony’s here. Shhh, shh, it’s going to be okay,” he whispers as he bounces the child. Harry’s crying tampers out and he quickly falls asleep, his over-exhaustion clearly present.

Remus turns his wary gaze towards Petunia. “It’s dangerous for you to use the floo with your husband upstairs,” Remus chasts. “It’s dangerous for me to be here.”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what else to do.” Petunia knows Remus is just being cautious, that he isn’t criticizing her out of a place of malice, but Petunia breaks down all the same.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Remus tells her, wrapping the arm not holding Harry around her frail shoulders. “There’s no need to cry, Petunia, it’s going to be okay,” he assures her as he rubs his hand along her back. She clings tight to Remus, desperate to believe him. A minute or two passes and Petunia is able to calm down again.

“Thank you for coming,” she whispers as she releases him, her hand still lingering on his arm.

“Of course,” he replies. “But I need to go, your husband could walk down here at any moment,” he adds with urgency.

She bids him goodbye as he disappears through her fireplace, leaving a clam and sleeping child in her arms.

Remus and Petunia fall into a routine of him coming by Tuesdays and Thursdays. Remus arrives midmorning and helps with the children while Petunia prepares a lunch, then they sit and talk as the children play, crying together just as often as not. Then Remus helps put the boys down for an afternoon nap and departs. This is fairly consistent, but there are a few weeks that Remus is unable to come at all. Petunia chooses not to ask what pulls him away, or why he’s able to come as often as he is. Part of her knows that if she was meeting him under less tragic circumstances, she’d be critical of him having the time to come by, since every respectable adult should have a respectable job they should be at (she tells that part of her to go to hell, and thanks her lucky stars Remus is a part of her life).

And just as she and Remus have fallen into a comfortable routine of talking about everything, and moving through their grief, Petunia and Vernon have fallen into a routine of ignoring their problems and pretending they still have the perfectly normal life they previously projected. Vernon never addresses Harry’s presence, unless it is to be reassured that his money hasn’t been spent on the boy. Petunia bites her tongue at the remarks and politely informs her husband that she is only spending the small amount of money that James and Lily left to Harry. She doesn’t dare let Vernon know the extent of the fortune the Potter’s were able to leave Harry, least he thinks they should be entitled to more of it. 

Harry, though young, isn’t so young as to not notice Vernon’s neglect. When he cries, he never reaches for Vernon. The small child actually seems afraid of him, leaving Petunia with an unsettled feeling in her stomach. She nearly has a heart attack the first time she hears Harry cry for his Uncle Moony in front of Vernon. 

“Who the hell is that?” Vernon angrily grumbles in Petunia’s direction as Harry wails. “I thought the kid didn’t have any other family. Why couldn’t he be raised by him?”

“Must have been a family friend or something,” Petunia dismisses as she tries to get Harry to settle down. Vernon’s only response is a grunt, and Petunia is thankful for his disinterest. She quickly takes Harry out of the room where she tries to calm him down, and explain that she will just have to do, since Moony won’t be able to come right now. 

When Petunia does see Remus, he is looking more and more at wit's end, instilling a deep sense of worry in Petunia. Remus explains to her that the murder trial for a close friend would be starting soon, and that the trail is connected to James and Lily’s death as well. Through his vague and scattered explanation, he keeps repeating that he just doesn’t want to believe it. He bounces between telling her that he just can’t believe the accused - Sirius - would have betrayed them like this, and asking how he could have been so blind and not seen his betrayal sooner. He keeps coming back to the point of Peter’s death, and how there isn’t any other explanation. Petunia isn’t sure which seems to be killing Remus more, the grief for his friends or the obvious turmoil inside him over this trial.

Remus’s clear anxiety only intensifies once the trial is ongoing. He isn’t able to stop over during what had become their usual times, but he does fire call Petunia with updates. She mostly just listens to him talk in circles about the evidence being presented and about how Remus feels about the way the accused is handling himself.

“He’s so unrepentant when they speak of Peter’s death, but then he looks so gutted when Lily and James are mentioned. I don’t get it, how could Siris betray Lily and James, feel this guilty, but then murder Peter in cold blood?” Petunia clearly doesn’t have the answers Remus is searching for. It pains her to know there isn’t anything she can do for the man who has been able to help her so much over the past two months. 

Remus is even more distraught the next day when he calls. “I don’t understand; I just don’t understand, Petunia! How can he sit there and say he deserves to go to Azkaban, that he’s responsible for this all, but not that he cast the explosion spell? How can Sirius sit here saying he’s glad Peter is dead, and that he might as well have been the one to cast the killing curse, but not have been the one to cause that explosion! How is this just coming up now! How has Sirius not bothered to mention he’s innocent of the crimes he’s being sentenced for until now? I just- I don’t know what to feel Petunia? How can he be so willing to go to Azkaban if he’s innocent? How are Lily and James gone if he’s innocent? How- How-” Remus isn’t able to finish whatever train of thought he has, as he breaks down into short sobs, gasping for breath. Petunia whispers comforting utterances for the minute or two that it takes for Remus to regain composure and continue, “The Aurors are examining both Sirius’s and Peter’s wands tomorrow to determine who cast the basting spell. That will be the final evidence that will determine if Sirius is guilty of the death of all those muggles and Peter or not. You’d think if he were an innocent man he’d be looking forward to the evidence that would acquit him, but he just sat there with sad indifference when they announced it. I just don’t know what to think Petunia.”

“We’ll know more tomorrow, try to get some sleep for now, Remus. This trial has put you through hell, you need the rest. You should also make sure you are eating, you really don’t look well,” Petunia tells him, hoping her words are getting through. Even through the fire call, Remus looks like death passed him over.

“It’s hard to have much of an appetite when your closest friend is on trial for the murder of your other closest friends,” he sighs.

“Please try to take care of yourself,” Petunia pleads.

“I’ll do my best,” Remus sighs, and with that, ends the call.

Petunia spends most of the next day running on autopilot. She nearly paces a hole through her hallway rug. She knows the stress of the trial is eating Remus alive, and she wishes she could do more, rather than continue to pace by her fireplace, waiting for an update. When the clock on the wall tells her that Vernon will be home any minute, she gives up on the idea that Remus will call her, and tries to focus on cooking dinner. 

Vernon comes home grumpy, as he always seems to do these days. Harry quickly toddles out of his way and hides behind Petunia’s legs, clutching to her skirt. 

“He mean” little Harry stated with big sad eyes, “Why?” Petunia isn’t sure what to say, after all, Harry is far too young to understand any answer she could give him, but it’s clear to her that they can’t keep carrying on like they are.

“Your Uncle Vernon…” she begins, choosing her next words with care, “he’s not a good man. It has nothing to do with you, Harry. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Harry seems to accept this answer as he nods his head once and waddles over to some blocks near the edge of the kitchen to play with. Petunia turns her limited attention back to preparing dinner, which she nearly burns from lack of focus.

Dinner itself is strained. On good days, Vernon speaks with his wife, asks how Dudley is, and tells her about his day. On these days, they almost seem like a normal family, except for his complete lack of acknowledgment of the child on his wife’s other side, happily struggling to use a spoon. Today was not one of these days, and the silence was only broken by the babbling of the two toddlers.

Vernon’s icy attitude continues into the evening, and he doesn’t say more than two words to her before he turns in for the night. Which really, Petunia finds herself thinking, might be for the best. It confirms her resolve that she has to leave him, that this house won’t ever be a home for either of her children, that she’s not to blame for her marriage turning to ruins. After all, her worst sin seems to be trying to do right by her dead sister.

She takes solace in coming to a firm conclusion as to what she has to do, but it doesn’t help her sleep that night, distracted by the thought of Remus and not knowing the conclusion of the trial. After nearly three hours of tossing and turning, she makes her way downstairs to the living room to pace. Another hour passes and she finally gains the resolve to fire-call Remus. An anxious knot twists in her stomach as she waits to get a hold of him. 

Remus comes to the fireplace, looking more anxious and more tired than Petunia has ever seen him. Remus opens his mouth to address her, but she happens to beat him to it. “Are you okay, Remus? You look awful, I’m so sorry to have called.”

“What- I- I’m fine - sort of. I just got back from the courthouse a little bit ago. Are you okay? Why are you calling so late? Is something the matter with Harry?”

“No, Harry’s fine. I just- I couldn’t sleep with how worried I was about you and this trial. I needed to know how it went today, if you were alright.”

“Is that Lily’s sister?” an unfamiliar voice asks, as another man comes over and has a seat next to Remus.

“Yes, Sirius, meet Petunia Dursely, Petunia, meet Sirius Black, formally acquitted of all charges,” Remus says with an exhausted smile. “There’s a lot to tell you, but the important thing is that he didn’t kill those Muggles, he wasn’t the traitor, and he’s free now.”

“I’m pleased to hear it,” Petunia replies, unsure of exactly what this means in regards to what she knows about the death of Lily and James, but some of the anxiety and tension seems to be leaving Remus, so she’ll take that for what it’s worth.

“How’s Harry doing?” Sirius asks.

“He’s a beautiful and brilliant child,” she says with a sad smile. “He cries for his Mum and Dad less and less these days, which is almost just as heartbreaking to think about as when he is crying for them.”

“Can- can I see him some time?” Sirius asks her.

“Of course, will both of you be able to come by tomorrow afternoon?”

“We’ll be over at 2. But we should end this call now, it’s been a long and trying day and it’s best you don’t talk long with your husband home. I’m safe - we’re safe; try to get some rest Petunia,” Remus tells her. With that, she bids them goodnight and pulls her head out of the fireplace. Petunia doesn’t quite know what to think, but she’s comforted by Remus’s words and manages to fall asleep without too much more trouble that night. 

The next morning, shortly after Vernon leaves for work, Petunia sets out with Harry in a stroller and Dudley on her hip for the courthouse. It takes all morning, but Petunia returns with the necessary paperwork to file for divorce. After fixing lunch for Harry and Dudley, she calls the bank to get the ball in motion to separate her accounts from her husband’s. This isn’t going to be easy, but it was a long time coming.

A kettle is on for tea when Remus and Sirius arrive through Petunia’s fireplace. “I’m happy you could make it,” Petunia tells them as she greets them in her living room. They both look strides better than they had the night before; Remus looking less worn than he had in months.

“Happy you could have us,” Sirius replies. His eyes find Harry and the man just about melts. “Oh, look at you Harry, how have you been?” he coos as he bends down to receive to the toddler in open arms. 

“Pad’foo” Harry exclaims as he waddles to Sirius, arms outstretched. Both Remus and Petunia do not choose to comment on the tears streaming down Sirius’s face.

“Come, have a seat,” Petunia tells them, gesturing towards the sofa. “How do you take your tea, Sirius?”

“Black, no sugar,” he manages in reply.

Once they are all settled, Sirius and Remus and on the couch, with Harry and Dudley in their laps, and Petunia in the adjacent armchair, tea in hand, they begin to discuss the trial, and what this all means. Remus explains the nature of hiding spells, the concept of a secret keeper, and how Lily and James had one. Sirius explains his part on how the role was switched to Peter, the resulting betrayal, and confrontation. 

“So, what, he decided to frame you and commit suicide, just like that? Do blasting curses like that typically kill the caster?” Petunia questions.

“Well, it seems to be the outcome. The only remains the Aurors found of Peter was his finger,” Remus provides. “Though I suppose it could be possible that he’s still out there, but we’ll just have to wait for him to turn up if he is. The courts have already ruled it a suicide, given the evidence.”

Knowing the people who are responsible for Lily and James’s death are possibly still out there, possibly still wishing Harry harm, doesn’t sit well with Petunia, and it certainly doesn’t make what has to come next any easier.

“Do you think he’s still a threat to Harry?” she asks.

“With Voldemort gone, and with this trial ruling Peter responsible for the murder of a dozen Muggles, if he is still out there, he won’t be showing his face any time soon. I don’t think Harry is in serious danger anymore, not since the end of the war,” Remus ventures.

Petunia nods, taking in the information. “Well, I have some news of my own: I’m divorcing Vernon. I… don’t know what I’ll do exactly, or where I will go, but I don’t want Harry growing up somewhere where he isn’t loved.” Harry looks up at hearing his name, so Petunia turns to him and addresses him directly, “You are a wonderful boy Harry, and I love you very much.” She turns to Dudley and adds, “Both of you, I love both of you very much, and you both deserve the very best.” She knows full well she can’t give them the very best, especially not after leaving her husband, but she has plenty of love, and she plans on giving them it all. 

“Do you intend to stay in Muggle Britain or introduce Harry to the Wizarding World?” Remus inquires.

The question catches Petunia by surprise; she hadn’t previously considered it an option, she just knew she had to leave. “I- Wouldn’t that be hard? With me not being magical?” she asks.

“I’d probably consider it slightly harder than moving to another country would be. Yes, there’s a lot you don’t know, and yes, things might be a bit trickier for you, but if you were interested, it would be an option,” Remus explains. “It might be harder on Dudley not to be around other Muggles, but it would be easier when Harry starts to manifest magic. I don’t want to sugar coat it though, you would face prejudice from some people, but those people can go to Hell.”

“Those people lost the war,” Sirius adds. “That perspective may still be held by some, but it’s not favorable. The worst of them are in Azkaban now.” The corner of his lips twitches up at the remark. “But speaking of the ended war, and people’s plans, what are yours, Remus?” 

This is a question Petunia has thought about quite a bit over the last few months, but never brought herself to ask.

“There’s not so much that someone with my condition can do, Sirius-”

“That’s such bullshit! After everything you did for the Order, they should be bending over backward to give you some job in defense or the Aurors, Merlin knows you have the NEWTs for it!” Sirius exclaims.

“You know full well the Aurors would never take someone like me,” Remus calmly counters. 

“I’m sorry, but what do you mean by ‘someone like you,’” Petunia asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

Remus nervously glances to Sirius as he hesitates to answer the question.

“Tell her; you’re not going to run away from this. Harry needs you in his life, she has a right to know.”

“I’m- well, I’m a werewolf. I was bitten when I was 4. Every full moon I transform, and it’s not safe to be around me,” he solemnly admits.

“Don’t get all dramatic on her, Moony,” Sirius chastises. “He’s never hurt anyone,” he explains, turning to Petunia. “He needs to be kept away from people during the full moon, but that’s it. He’s perfectly harmless the rest of the time; wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Oh, I see,” Petunia says, a little dumbfounded. It’s not as though this really changes anything, certainly not with how convinced Sirius is of Remus’s harmlessness, and after all, he would know better than she would. 

“If you don’t want me in Harry’s-”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Petunia and Sirius say simultaneously.

“This doesn’t change anything,” Petunia adds.

“Well, I guess it’s settled then,” Remus concludes with a small laugh. “What about you, Sirius. What are you doing with your new-found freedom?” 

“It’s strange having to make the decision without the war, ya know? I hadn’t even given it any thought when we were back in school. Who cared about a career when there was a dark wizard that wanted to take everything over. I didn’t really think I’d live long enough to need a career. I suppose there are the Aurors, though the war is over, I think I might want to get away from all of that. Do you think it’s too late to become a professional quidditch player?” he asks, flashing a bright smile.

“For you, yes,” Remus laughs. “You had the NEWTs to become a healer,” he adds, almost offhandedly. 

“Think I’d be any good at it?” Sirius asks. Petunia is taken aback by how suddenly Sirius looks his youthful age, like he hasn’t been through a war and enough loss to last him a lifetime.

“Yeah, I think you’d be great.” The two seem to share a moment, quickly interrupted by both children loudly demanding attention.

“What do you think, Harry, should Uncle Padfoot try and become a healer?” Sirius asks in earnest.

“Yea,” is Harry’s small reply, as he reaches out to grab onto Siruis’s hair.

“Well you heard the little man,” Remus laughs, they all do. 

“One of these days, you’ll have to explain where you both got these nicknames,” Petunia remarks. 

“Now there’s a story!” Sirius exclaims.

“Where do we even being,” Remus laughs.

The room fills with a joy that had been missing for too long as the two men begin to recount stories of their not so distant past. Petunia laughs along as she is able to hear about a new side of her sister and brother in law, as well as the two men sitting before her. Eventually, Petunia needs to put Harry and Dudley down for their afternoon nap so she ushers the other two on their way. Before they go, they both promise to return tomorrow to further help Petunia form her plans for divorce. Petunia spends the afternoon reorganizing her and the boys’ things, already starting to pack some of what she’ll take when she leaves. 

The following day Remus and Sirius arrive around lunchtime. Both men look far too thin for Petunia’s liking, but there’s less worry and more smiles than she’s seen in far too long, so they all seem to be headed in the right direction. The question of where Petunia intends to move is posed again as she’s asked if she’s given it much thought since yesterday. Petunia is a bit nervous about the whole thing, but she’s willing to put some faith in Remus and Sirius. Upon hearing the news, they begin to look through apartment listings in Wizarding communities that might be a good fit. By the time they are leaving, Petunia has a shortlist of places she likes and an even shorter timeline for sending in the divorce paperwork. It won’t be long and Vernon will be coming home to an empty house, with no wife, and neither nephew nor son. Knowing that she’s going to leave her husband terrifies Petunia, but having someone to support her through this whole ordeal makes it bearable.

There is a point to all of the planning Petunia was doing, to meticulously accounting for every detail of her leaving. Everything being planned out minimizes the risk involved. It ensures a clean break, a safe exit. What she does not plan for, is making a huge mistake. 

“What’s this!” Vernon spits as he throws what could only be the unfinished divorce papers down in front of Petunia as she clears the table form dinner. Her mind races to try and remember where she had last left them, where she had gone wrong. Had she left them out, or had he gone through her things?

“I’m leaving you,” she tries to state plainly, since there is no way around it now, only a fool could believe another explanation. The color drains from her face as Vernon’s turns crimson.

“Now listen here,” he says as he raises his hand against her. Petunia lets out a shriek and tries to run away. Vernon grabs her by the wrist and she fights hard against it. Her elbow connects with something solid and he briefly loosens his grip, long enough for Petunia to pull away. She immediately gets Harry and Dudley, running quickly to the fireplace, where, with a handful of floo powder, she leaves her home behind. She tumbles out onto Remus’s living room floor, the first time she’s actually been in his small house. Remus is by her side at a moment’s notice, assessing the situation and charming the floo temporarily closed, just in case. 

“What happened, are you alright?” he asks with urgency.

“Vernon,” Petunia pants, “found the divorce papers. I was getting ready to send them in- I must not have put them away- or, or-”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s going to be alright,” he assures her, kneeling down and setting his hand on her back. “Everything is going to be fine. You, Harry and Dudley are all here, safe. He can’t get to you; he can’t hurt you. Everything is going to be fine.”

Petunia breaks down, letting out short, unbecoming, sobs. She leans into Remus, clinging to the man for dear life. 

She can feel a child’s hand tugging at her skirt. “Mama sad,” Dudley states, looking concerned. Harry is next to Dudley, tugging on Remus’s sleeve, trying to get his attention too. 

Petunia releases Remus and tries to compose herself, wiping away her tears. “Mama isn’t sad,” she assures her child. “See, mama isn’t crying anymore. Mama’s okay, everything is okay.” She wraps the boy in a quick hug and sets him on her lap. He smiles up at her and she smiles back at him, trying not to let any of her worry show through. Beside her, Remus has begun to play with Harry, seeming to try equally hard to keep any nervousness out of his own expression.

“I’m sorry for just barging in like this,” Petunia apologizes, turning towards Remus.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Petunia. You did the right thing in coming here. I’m happy to have you,” he assures her. He wraps his arms around Petunia’s shoulders and she leans into the embrace. Her composure begins to crack once again, and she fights hard to keep back tears. She pulls away and dabs at her eyes with her sleeve.

“I’m sorry for being such a mess,” she sniffles.

“Petunia, you really don’t need to apologize,” Remus repeats. “All things considered, I think you’re doing just fine.” He offers a small smile as further assurance.

“I suppose things could be worse,” Petunia laughs, her voice rough.

“I’ll go find some fresh sheets and blankets to make up the bed for you,” Remus tells her as he gets up, Harry reaches up toward him, taking a few steps closer then falling to the ground.

“Where will you sleep?” Petunia asks, looking up at Remus.

“I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“Oh, no; I can’t make you do that!” Petunia objects, getting to her feet, Dudley on her hip.

“Petunia, you’ve had quite the night, I simply will not add to any of your troubles by having you out on my couch,” Remus tells her in such a tone that conveyed he will not be swayed from his decision. “Now, let’s go find something more comfortable for you to change into and get everyone settled for bed.”

“Okay,” Petunia softly replies. “Thank you Remus, for everything.”

“After everything you’ve been through, it’s the least I can do.”

Petunia follows Remus down the hallway into his small bedroom where he presents her with some pajamas which she heads to the bathroom to change into. Petunia surveys herself in the mirror before returning to Remus. It’s quite obvious from the way the pajamas hang off her small frame that they are made for someone much taller than herself, but the way the neckline gapes and the pants pool by her feet feels cozy to Petunia.

Harry and Dudley are laying on the far side of the bed and Remus is carrying a blanket out of his bedroom as Petunia returns. He reaches the doorway at the same time Petunia does. She softly grasps his wrist, stilling him as he’s passing by her. “Stay; please” she whispers. The dim light casts shadows over Remus’s face and Petunia tries to interpret the look in his eyes. Worry?- indecision?- fear?  _ Have I overstepped _ ?  _ Did I cross a line by asking for too much too soon? _ “I really don’t want to be alone,” Petunia adds in a small voice.

“Okay,” Remus replies, the apprehension fading from his expression. He places the blankets he was holding on top of a nearby dresser. “Okay,” he repeats, “I’ll stay.” He takes a step forward and envelopes Petunia in his arms. Petunia returns the embrace, clinging to Remus like he’s the only thing tethering her to solid ground. 

They all settle in for the night, Petunia nestling safely in Remus’s arms. Petunia still feels her stomach twisted in a tight knot, but the weight of Remus’s arm around her side and the steady rise and fall of his chest to her back gives her a sort of comfort she hasn’t felt in a long time.

Petunia knows there is a lot that needs to be done when she wakes the following morning, but still nestled against Remus, she finds it hard to care about much else. Eventually though, Remus seems to notice she’s awake, and he is more intent on starting the day.

“Good morning,” Remus murmurs, his voice rough with sleep.

“Good morning,” Petunia answers, further snuggling into his embrace.

“We should get up. There’s a lot to do today,” he groggily informs her.

Petunia shifts in his arms, turning to face him. “I know, but can’t it wait just a little longer. Harry and Dudley are still sleeping, it’s so cozy here with you,” she tries.

“Come on,” Remus smiles, “I’ll make breakfast.”

“Okay,” Petunia agrees. Remus reaches out and brushes a strand of hair out of Petunia’s face. His touch lingers for a moment before he gets out of bed and heads towards his closet. He pulls out a sweater and a pair of jeans, and exits the room to get dressed. Petunia searches the floor to find her clothes from the previous night to get dressed. Once she does she grabs Harry and Dudley and goes out to the kitchen.

“How do you like your eggs,” Remus asks her.

“Scrambled,” Petunia replies. Remus produces a cup of coffee for Petunia which she accepts after setting the children down. Remus finishes preparing their breakfasts and they take a seat at the table.

“We should talk about it you know,” Remus stated.

“Okay, you start,” Petunia said shyly from behind her coffee mug.

Remus’s lips turn up in a soft smile. “So you’re leaving your husband,” he begins.

“I’m leaving my husband,” she confirms.

“And we shared a bed.”

“That we did.” Petunia can’t help but smile at the way Remus is dancing around the question he wants to ask. “Thank you for staying, it meant a lot to me.”

“Of course. I’ve come to care about you a great deal, Petunia. However I can help, I want you to know you need only ask.” Petunia’s gaze meets Remus's soft eyes, and he gives her a reassuring smile. Petunia refuses to acknowledge the feeling growing inside of her, the one that’s been there from the very first time this weathered young man showed up at her door so many weeks ago. 

“We should get started on everything, beginning with the divorce paperwork.” Even though she isn’t able to admit to herself what she feels for Remus, Petunia can admit that the sooner she’s finished with her marriage, the better. She knows she has a long road ahead of her, and none of it will come easy, but she will willingly accept whatever it is that comes next.

  
  


Petunia is able to settle into the Wizarding World without too much more excitement. Remus pays a visit to the Ministry to have Petunia’s old floo removed from the network, and he is able to lift the charms from his own floo without any problems. Petunia tours and signs for a cozy two-bedroom apartment near both Remus, Sirius, and the muggle world, which she is able to move into within a week. The divorce takes longer to finalize; Petunia only fights for custody of Dudley, nothing else. The courts do end up siding with her, and the day they do is the last day she ever sees Vernon. 

Remus continues to help with Harry and Dudley as much as he can. As he feared, finding employment with his condition proves to be a challenge. He and Petunia get into several fights over the matter, mainly centering on Remus viewing himself as a burden and Petunia insisting the best thing he can do for her family is to stay and be a part of it. Remus is always convinced to stay, but he still tries to put distance between himself and Petunia, still fearful of a romantic entanglement.

Sirius helps with Harry and Dudley as much as his busy schedule as a healer permits. He fiercely loves the boys, and gets very overprotective of them whenever they go out. Harry and Dudley absolutely adore him as Padfoot, and Petunia even bought a dog bed for the apartment. It’s Sirius who tells Harry the most stories of his parents, making sure he knows just how much they had loved him. He’s so good with both of the boys, and Petunia knows one day when he finds the right girl that he’ll make a great father.

Petunia has her hands full with taking care of Harry and Dudley, and it really is a full time job for the first few years. When they are old enough she sends them to a muggle primary school. Not long after the Wolfsbane potion is invented and everything changes. Remus insists that he cannot justify the expense of the potion, but Sirius has none of it. He’s seen his friend suffer for far too long, there’s a chance to end that suffering, and he’s sure as hell going to take it. Finally,  _ finally, _ with his lycanthropy under control, Remus gives in and agrees to give a relationship with Petunia the proper chance it deserves.

And with this newfound freedom from his condition, Sirius insists Remus take on a job doing what he loves, teaching. Sirius continuously pesters Remus until he agrees to apply for a position at Hogwarts for the following fall. And Sirius continuously pesters Dumbledore until Remus hears back that he is offered the job. Remus and Petunia agree that they will both move into Hogsmead, but that Petunia will also keep the apartment, so that she can take Harry and Dudley to see the friends they had made at school on the weekends. 

They don’t have a particularly convention family, but both Harry and Dudley grow up knowing they are deeply loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> I want this story to be better than it currently is, so if you have any suggestions for it, please leave a comment. Also, if this happens to inspire you to write your own story of what could have been, please leave a link, I'd love to read it!


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